For those of you egg-heads that spend far too much time learning, unlearning, and relearning, here’s a post especially for you!

Okay, I’ll admit this writing is for me. Not entirely for me because I can’t keep it to myself. It would do a disservice to everyone who has ever tried to work through a disagreement with others.

In my life I’ve experienced a good deal of dispute. During such hoopla I have noticed patterns of thought and speech in people.

As I waltz and stumble my way through the cacophony of a linguistic life, I will take a moment to emphasize something important that I’ve learned from my disputes with others.

Things could get a bit heady, but I trust someone will take something from it.

To begin, I ask, what is an argument?

Most people might imagine an argument meaning: “an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one.”

This leaves me wondering, how does one clear up this kind of heated exchange?

Like so many other commonly used English words, other definitions of “argument” are also used. Here’s one from a British dictionary.

“a reason or set of reasons given in support of an idea, action or theory.”

Interestingly, here’s a slightly different definition from an American dictionary, one garnished with a bit of ethic.

“a reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is right or wrong in support of an idea, action or theory.”

With the above definitions in mind, how often do we really argue? More importantly, how many of us have the ability to do this well?

Here’s what many people tend to do when they are unwilling to engage in a dispute, respond to a rebuttal, or when their logic is exposed for being poor, mistaken, or dishonest.

“I understand that’s your opinion.”
“That’s your perspective.”

I call these remarks truisms or thought-stoppers. Let’s look at how “opinion” is defined. This is a favourite of mine.

opinion: “a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”

Imagine you and I were sitting on a park bench in the superb city of Montreal.

It’s a sunny summer day, scruffy dogs and gleeful people zipping by. Look, here comes a cyclist.
“Now that’s a sexy bicycle,” I say.
“What!” you reply. “It looks like something from some retro junkyard!”
“You’re mistaken. It’s a beee-yooty.”
“That’s your opinion.”

True statement. Though I may have seen a few bicycles in my life, my taste in bicycles relies on no knowledge or factual basis. Just straight up opinion. Will it rain tomorrow? I’m no amateur meteorologist, so all I can say is maybe, maybe not.

So, what if someone does have knowledge and some facts at their disposal? Does their view become something other than an opinion? You bet it does.

conclusion: a judgment or decision reached by reasoning • a proposition that is reached from given premises.

Reasoning’s underlined for a reason. According to the Enlightenment school of thought, reason is regarded highly as a divine cornerstone of a free society.

reason as a noun:

“the power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments logically: there is a close connection between reason and emotion. • what is right, practical, or possible; common sense: people are willing, within reason, to pay for schooling. • (one’s reason) one’s sanity: she is in danger of losing her reason.”

reason as a verb:

“think, understand, and form judgments logically: humans do not reason entirely from facts. • [with object] (reason something out) find an answer to a problem by considering possible options: she was growing too sleepy to reason it out. • (reason with) persuade (someone) with rational argument: I tried to reason with her, but without success.”

I don’t care to wave the flag of rationalism too too much because I don’t consider myself an unwavering rationalist at heart. Other faculties seem as important to me as rationality, some with even more importance. For example, the significance of intuition and experience—which may very well outshine reason in many rights—mustn’t be understated any more than it is already in our mechanistic civilization.

Let’s put a bow on all this, shall we. What am I trying to say here?

Disputes. Quarrels. Conflict. These are teachable opportunities for us to grow and learn from one another, not something to rip each other’s heads off over. I’m still trying to take my own advice.

I wish to live in a world where sanity is not seen as insane by deranged people.

Sanity will continue to recede if people surrender the faculties of thought that allow them to make sensible decisions. We come to reasonable conclusions by knowing the meaning of the words we use and how to put them together in a coherent way. I’d prefer that my daughter inherits an experience of the world that is less misconceived than the one that I have had to overcome.

These are some notes on dispute.